Journal: The Dead Bird

Today I was noticing a sound coming from my window. At first, I thought it was ice falling. But then it started to sound like some form of animal. I have an opaque plastic on this particular window as it is adjacent to the boiler room. I grabbed a metal rod as to protect myself as it sounded like it was trying to rip through the bag. This went on about 15 minutes with intervals of silence. I got closer to the window and was ready to pounce on this thing. I assumed it was a rat. It broke free of the lose plastic and revealed itself. It was a sparrow, a freaking bird. Well, I let my guard down now that I know it can't bite me. But now the issue was, how did it get in with no windows or doors open, and how was I going to get it out. It must have crawled through a laundry vent or something seeking warmth? I opened the top part of the window and waited there on the other side of the wall to make sure it gets out and nothing else gets in. The weather outside was bitterly cold, but I knew it would not survive long without water or food. I had to go in the boiler room side of the window and guide it out with a broom towards the narrow opening of the window. After about 10 minutes, it finally flew out. I was relieved that it was not going to die in the boiler room and that I could finally get on with my regular routine. I feel like I have made up for something I did as a kid. I was down by the river with my friend who had a BB gun, it was my first time practicing with this pump action riffle. We shot a lot of things with it to see who was the better sniper. My friend decided to shoot at a bird up high on a tree and missed a few times. It became my turn, and I pumped the gun really tight, aimed, and shot the bird. What happened next haunts me till this day, I killed a living creature for no reason at all. I watched in disbelief as it fell to the ground and immediately died. I thought God had saw what I had  done as it started to rain within seconds after the bird fell to the ground. I felt he was angry with me and rightfully so. I was shocked at what I had done and realized that day what life was. Saving this bird today, that looked just like the bird I had killed many decades ago, helped a bit with the guilt I had carried.